an eldest sister’s heartbreak

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onto today’s topic: an eldest sister’s heartbreak 🩹 

i love my family. a lot.

i have two younger siblings; my sister, 4 years younger, whom i practically grew up with, and my 9-year-old brother.

honestly, i don’t really get emotional about being away from my family for long periods, except for one pill that’s hard to swallow: i won’t be there to watch my brother grow up. i’m in a position where i have to learn just how much my brother has grown and changed during a bi-annual visit home, and the fact that it’s going to be like that for an indefinite amount of time makes me extremely sad. 🫠 

i never, ever, want my siblings to feel like they’ve been left all alone at home — with empty seats at the dining table being a constant reminder of the hole in the fabric of our family. i know it’s inevitable for him to feel that way at some point when he grows older, but that genuinely breaks my heart. there’s only so much a daily phone call can convey.

to be right beside my siblings through their trials and tribulations is something i wish i didn’t have to compromise on in pursuing my own path, and the unstoppable nature of growing up. 🫶 

i often ask my peers, whom are youngest siblings, whether or not they feel close to their siblings, so i can bridge that gap with my own loved ones even by the slightest degree.

experiencing life together is a gift, and just being updated on each other’s lives feels like something is amiss. all i can do i cherish the time we do have together during breaks, and trust, i will hug my family extra tight. :)

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