being ill is the worst

welcome to introspection ft. harsehaj! ⭐️ i’m harsehaj, a 19 y/o always up to something in social good x tech.

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onto today’s topic: being ill is the worst 😷 

as most freshman, i was pretty ill during the 2nd week of university. each time, it comes as a shock because i’m not one to get sick often at all. on my gap year, i only got sick once, and that was because of food poisoning in thailand.

when i crash, however, i crash hard and fast. it’s like 3-4 days of heavy fever, fatigue, and missing my family dreadfully. i remember calling my family on zoom at the start of the school year when i was trapped in a library 30 minutes away from my dorm because of a rainstorm on an empty stomach and a shockingly high fever. 🤒 

i didn’t make it to the end of the call without breaking down, and wow, that was a low point. i hope that’ll be the lowest it gets for the rest of my time here.

fortunately, a place that sells the best chai in chapel hill was right across the street from the library and the taste of home cleared my head (and throat) almost immediately. yeah, i was physically sick, but i think the homesickness piled on top was the real killer. 🔪 

i didn’t feel particularly homesick while traveling last year because every day was filled to the brim with excitement and moving around. now, that i’ve somewhat settled, waves of longing and wishing to be right there next to my little brother growing up wash over me when i least expect it.

i’m happy and unc chapel hill. i’m happy being around my friends and laughing. i’m happy experiencing being a student at university and all of the trials that come with it.

i miss curling up in my bed at home and waking up next to a steaming cup of chai on my bed side. i miss rollerblading around my neighbourhood. i miss going trick-or-treating with my siblings and trading candy at the end of the night. 🍬 

i mourn my childhood where being sick was cheering about a day off from school, and not a load of stress. yet, i relish in the autonomy and excitement of paving my own path. it sucks to be sick, but it’s awesome to be alive.

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