i became a sailor in 3 weeks

welcome to introspection ft. harsehaj! ⭐️ i’m harsehaj, a 19 y/o always up to something in social good x tech.

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onto today’s topic: i became a sailor in 3 weeks ⛵️ 

hi again. :)

last time i wrote to you, i had no idea how to navigate the ocean with just a paper map and compass, steer a pulling boat, or sheet in a sail.

now? i can do all that + so, so much more.

as a part of my scholarship program, all incoming freshman are required to experience an outdoor leadership experience facilitated by outward bound or nols. i joined 9 other scholars on the maine sailing and rock climbing course for 21 days. 🗓️ 

we lived on a 30-foot pulling boat for 3 weeks. our belongings were stored in sea duffels, we didn’t have any proper bathrooms, we cooked meals while underway, we plunged in the ice cold ocean every morning at 5am, we slept in damp sleeping bags, we had no access to technology (phones & gps included) or running water.

funnily enough, we also sailed through a hurricane.

we were on an expedition across the coast of maine, starting with our flight arrivals in portland to circling penobscot bay and more. it was primarily a sailing course, but we also had chances to stop on land for ‘solo’ (more on that later), rock climbing and a service project. plus, a few beach stops here and there. 😋 

we weren’t just free-styling the boat though; we had instructors to teach us the ropes and guide us for half the trip, and then they were hands-off, leaving us to rely on our own learning to eventually sail our little pulling boat back to base camp. there was also a job organization system where we cycled between roles like cook, captain, navigation, and medic.

i’ll cut to the chase and give you the real rundown now though.

in all honesty, i was hoping to get a lot more out of the experience than i did. i didn’t feel particularly challenged despite the seemingly treacherous conditions — maybe that’s because my tolerance for things going wrong, and instinct to lean more positive was raised significantly as a result of my gap year.

in short, i’ve done harder things and didn’t feel like i was challenged in a way that tested my mental or physical fortitude in a profound way. while i didn’t feel like i changed a significant amount as a person in my character or mindset, i did learn a lot of new things from a technical and soft-skill standpoint.

i’ll rapid fire some of my newfound insights from living on a boat for 3 weeks:

1) i didn’t miss my phone 📱 

surprisingly, i didn’t miss my phone at all. i didn’t find myself itching to scroll on tiktok. i missed certain functions like taking photos easily or calling my loved ones, sure, but beyond that it didn’t feel like a part of me was missing despite its impenetrable presence in our typical daily lives.

2) my hypothesized improved positivity was affirmed 😁 

one of the biggest buckets of self-growth i’ve reflected on as a result of this gap year was my increased positive outlook on life on a broad and micro level. but, who wouldn’t be so positive while traveling the world? being on the boat affirmed this area of personal growth because i rarely found myself being genuinely negative. every day is a great day if you choose to make it one.

3) overconsumption sucks 🛍️ 

we use a lot of random stuff in our daily lives, and i didn’t realize it until we were living off the bare minimum on the boat. living out of a singular backpack while traveling definitely gave me a taste, but being completely cut off from comfort material items made the contrast pretty clear.

4) our health was pretty neglected 😬 

one of my biggest points of frustration during this course was not being taken seriously by our instructors. every student was a fully autonomous adult, and i firmly believe the courses should have been altered to consider that factor. we had to advocate relentlessly for our health-related concerns to even be acknowledged, let alone have any action taken for them. many group members left the course with uti’s, yeast infections, and skin-related infections that went untreated during the whole trip.

5) i need purpose to be motivated

i felt pretty lost and uninterested for the beginning of the trip, because the bigger picture and goal for the expedition wasn’t shared with us. i need to have a purpose and vision in order to channel my motivation. we were introduced to different leadership style, and ‘driver’ really rung true for me, because i typically am the person that stay locked in on a mission. when there’s nothing for me to lock in on, it’s disorienting.

some highlights ☀️ 

i did make some everlasting friendships and memories. i don’t think it’s even possible to forget about a time you ate burritos with dirt mixed in …

i also thoroughly enjoyed the rock climbing section — it felt like i was in my element and in control of the challenge i could administer to myself. not to mention, it was fun. (:

another highlight was our ‘solo’ where we were isolated on different parts of an island with only a tarp, ziploc bag of rations (a bagel, raisins, slab ogranola bar & apple for 48 hours) and journal to our name. i thrived. the trip was getting to a point where i was beginning to get overstimulated from all the social interaction and my patience was running thin, so it was a much needed recharge to gain energy from being alone with just my thoughts and the beautiful view of the rocky ocean banks.

better than any of that, i made some friends that will last a lifetime. i had open, vulnerable conversations, and shared endless smiles with them. each day was filled with inside jokes and laughter, even when the waters were rough.

onboarding back onto the internet has been a little strange. i don’t find myself itching to scroll on my phone as much anymore, nor do i take my hot showers for granted. so maybe i did change, and it’ll take me a little longer to internalize the new quirks.

as a bonus, here are some of the excerpts from the journal i wrote in every day during the trip (ignore my handwriting …)!

daily opportunity + resource drops 🔍️