“what’s your name?”

welcome to introspection ft. harsehaj! ⭐️ i’m harsehaj, an 18 y/o always up to something in social good x tech.

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onto today’s topic: “what’s your name?” 😵 

i internally cringe whenever someone asks me for my name, because i know exactly what the next few seconds are going to look like:

“what’s your name?”

“it’s harsehaj!”

“sorry, can you repeat that?”

“har-seh-hedge.”

“harsaj?”

“sure, yeah..!”

“sorry—”

“no worries, i get that a lot.”

and a few minutes later, they’ll forget my name because it’s so different.

it’s a painful conversation that must be had every time i meet someone new, and obviously i’ve been having a lot of them since moving to the bay.

all throughout elementary school, i allowed people to pronounce my name however they wanted: a completely butchered, incorrect pronunciation. i decided dealing with a muddled name was easier than correcting everyone all the time. even if i wanted to, i felt that it was too late to suddenly “change my name.” when i moved schools, i immediately took that opportunity for a clean slate and introduced myself with the correct pronunciation of my name. 🗣️

but still, i would remember the attendance order so that whenever there was a substitute teacher, i’d be prepared to say “here” before they whip up some completely random arrangement of the 8 letters in my name.

when someone asks for my name to fill out a form, i don’t even bother saying it sometimes. i just dive right into the spelling. it saves me from this internal bubbling embarrassment that i get.

despite the occasional embarrassment, i refuse to come up with a generic “nickname” to make it easier for others. my name is my identity & people should call me by it. i shouldn’t have to compromise on my sense of self to save people 2 seconds of their day. ⏲️ 

having a unique name does have its perks. it’s super easy to get a good username on any platform after all. even better, it’s easy to find me online — all you have to do is search my first name and i’ll pop up! my name is essentially my brand since it’s so unique. :)

what’s my name? it’s harsehaj. 😋 

what is your relationship with your name?

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