networking only gets you so far

welcome to introspection ft. harsehaj! ⭐️ i’m harsehaj, an 18 y/o always up to something in social good x tech.

this publication is a place for me to reflect on a new topic daily, and send it to your inbox. if you’re new here, sign up to tune in! you reading this is keeping me accountable, so thank you for that. as a treat, i drop cool resources/opportunities at the end. 💌 

btw, feel free to reply with topic ideas you want me to write about for future posts.

onto today’s topic: networking only gets you so far 👯‍♀️

i kinda hate the word “networking.”

it’s so transactional. in the end, that relationship probably ends after a zoom call and 2 emails sent back and forth.

the greatest experiences and opportunities i’ve had to date have come from the friends i’ve made.

i’ve been to conferences. i’ve gone to networking events. i’ve even thrown together a few of them myself. 🫣

the biggest thing i’ve noticed from these gatherings is that the conversations that translated into meaningful friendships look more like:

“omg, you like kpop too?” or “tell me more about your trip last month!”

and less like: “what are your day to day tasks at work?” or “does your company hire interns?”

because let’s face it. people only want to help people they care about. why would they care about someone only talking to them for an internship referral?

your friends are going to be the ones that warm intro you. they’re going to let you crash at their place in sf. they’re going to invite you to spontaneously hit up a concert or founder event. they’re going to bring up your name in a conversation where you would benefit from greatly.

friends aren’t transactional (if yours are … maybe it’s time to rethink that 😬). they want what’s best for you, and that opens up many more doors than a linkedin request.

of course, that conference, linkedin request or cold email is the first step to meeting someone new, but authenticity matters for the next step.

honestly, i’ve only realized this now that i’m sometimes in the seat of dishing out referrals and links to cool opportunities. the first people that come to mind are always close friends that i know are passionate.

the conversations that stick are ones where i get to know someone on a deeper level — their interests, passions and character. after learning the hard way, i now walk into each event and zoom call looking to make another friend.

i’ll introduce myself and some work i do, the other person does the same and maybe something connects along the conversation. a dumb joke, shared fandom, clothing brand or even music taste. 🎶

don’t be stressed about steering the conversation to be “more productive.” just go in with the aim of making a friend — you’ll enjoy yourself a lot more. i know i have. (:

humans love friendship, not being used for social currency.

cool finds of the day 🔍️