- introspection ft. harsehaj
- Posts
- social pressures of college
welcome to introspection ft. harsehaj! ⭐️ i’m harsehaj, a 19 y/o always up to something in social good x tech.
this publication is a place for me to reflect on productivity, health and tech, and drop unique opportunities in the space right to your inbox daily. if you’re new here, sign up to tune in!💌
scroll to the end for my daily roundup on unique opportunities!
slowly, but surely, i’ve noticed that the lifestyle i worked hard to make habit has slipped away from me since i started university. not because i’ve been too busy to care about my health, but i have succumbed to the unhealthy social dynamics of freshman year: intense fomo, adhering to others’ values, and decentering my own well-being.
each time i skip the gym, i rationalize it by saying, “it’s okay i had a ton of fun hanging out with my friends last night — i can sleep.”
the sweets laid out in front of me in the dining hall seem more tempting than they actually are and 8 times out of 10, i’m disappointed after indulging anyways. 😬
each hour i prolong my bedtime, i rationalize and say, “i won’t make these memories ever again!”
the fomo i feel when i see my friends hanging out while i take an evening for myself has stunned me into the realization that the social pressures of college are no joke. i have never been one to feel intense fomo because i’m always putting my 100% into the present. being at unc chapel hill where it seems like the person with the highest “hangouts per day” stat comes out on top reintroduces weird mental games of wanting to “win friendship” that i worked extremely hard to shed throughout highschool during quarantine. 🏫
it’s discouraging that 3 months in a new environment could unwind so much mental progress i’ve made. fortunately, i caught these small mental wavers far earlier than i did in the past (i’d like to think 18 years vs. 3 months is a great improvement), and i will work on grounding myself once again.
at the end of the day, life is supposed to feel good to you, not look good to others. 🤞
Reply