the desire to be liked

welcome to introspection ft. harsehaj! ⭐️ i’m harsehaj, a 19 y/o always up to something in social good x tech.

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btw, feel free to reply with topic ideas you want me to write about for future posts.

onto today’s topic: the desire to be liked ❤️‍🩹

when you realize there’s a group chat without you in it,

when you catch that side-eye a pair of best friends send sends to each other,

when you make a joke that falls short, and watch everyone double over laughing at the same joke repeated by someone else,

or when you catch yourself rambling about your interests and notice the others are scrolling on their phones,

it sucks, doesn’t it? 🙁 

it’s that feeling of your heart sinking and a growing feeling of hopelessness forming a lump in the back of your throat. you’ll wonder if you’re likeable, funny, charismatic, or at the very least interesting. you’ll continue to ask yourself what is wrong with you, until you stop showing yourself at all.

the desire to be liked overwhelms you and you cast away parts of yourself to replace them with blank slates to be painted differently depending on the person you’re with.

even if they like you now, is it really you?  

i’m in the process of becoming comfortable with incompatibility. you’re not unloveable, never believe that. the people around you just aren’t compatible with you. it can manifest from differences in interests, humour and just personality types, and that’s okay. 🫂 when people use that incompatibility as a weapon to humiliate others and exclude them, however, it’s heartless. stringing people on with a false sense of security in friendship while laughing at their naivety in a group chat is cruel.

i don’t think the desire to be liked means you’re a people pleaser, but when that desire turns into you catering every little thing to another person, it’s another story. wanting to be liked is a desire we all have, no matter how confident someone is in themselves. the difference is being okay with incompatibility. you won’t be liked by everyone, and trying to accomplish that is wasted time.

you are loved, you just need to find the right people. ❤️ 

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